BY Nora Kirabo
Once upon a time…Chivalry used to connote the characteristics of knighthood. It meant being courteous to women and being gallant. This has been modified with the changing times. So believe it or not but chivalry is two sided. So, is chivalry dead? Most people would answer that with a yes and others, like me, would say it’s on a hiatus. Did we honestly expect a norm of the Victorian era to stay alive this long? If we hadn’t stabbed it enough, religion would have thrown the final blow. Rumor has it that being chivalrous is synonymous with being a wimp. Well I say fuck that. Would you honestly pick the douchebag over the knight in somewhat shining armour (most probably his watch in this day and age), well I think not. So let’s call this an autopsy…let’s expose the gender that pulled the trigger and let me (not us) resurrect this bitch, cough cough, I meant principle.
Ladies first (hint to the men: this is what women would consider as chivalrous.) It’s sad but true but from the actions of Eve (that bitch), I am inclined to believe that wherever there is smoke, there’s a woman. Our weapons of choice in this case would be the mouth (men wide world applaud) and of course our lady parts. I mean just look at Guinevere; this bitch went and cheated on King Arthur with his chief knight, Lancelot, and I’m like, “really?” dude probably outlawed chivalry after this shit.
See somewhere down the road women pulled the plug on the very quality they look for in their prince charming. I mean, here we are singing along to miss independent and acting like Destiny’s child is the law that we fail to see that we’re giving mixed signals. Can we honestly blame them for failing to realize that we still need to be treated like princesses when we label his acts of chivalry as attempts to weaken our gender? This treatment does not lessen a woman’s strength or independence, but it's up to women to show that they want this treatment. Then ironically are the shallow groups of women that make me embarrassed to be a woman. See these bitches come up thinking chivalry is about him being her personal bitch. Listen, you work, so you can pick up the check once in a while or for heaven’s sake at least pay half of it on his birthday.
And then there’s the stupid and incessant obsession with “bad boys.” This is the shit that makes men not want to be chivalrous to women. Women giving it up to the guy that treats them like the hair between his ass cheeks (yes it’s meant to be disgusting). So once you make it okay to sleep with ass holes then honey, you’re literally making the nice men extinct.
Chivalry died right after virtue. Basically men stopped being chivalrous when women turned into whores (no better way to put it). I know this old school but if you don’t respect yourself, then why should he? Matter of fact why should he woo you when either way you fuckin.
And then there were the men. Only reason you’re reading this is to find out how to use this to get laid. Fine, chivalry will get you laid 90% of the time but none the less you can’t fake it for too long, just ask women (wink). The thing about guys is that their number one priority from the age of 13 to 30 is to get laid (I, however, remain unsure of this speculation).
The times have changed and there is still room for chivalry but alas the men folk are too lazy to do anything remotely chivalrous. The last time a man did anything chivalrous for me it was followed by the “my-place-or-yours” line. And this, in case you were wondering, was followed by my middle finger.
Then there are the brutes, still alive from the Stone Age, these idiots probably think chivalry is a gourmet meal. I blame such for killing chivalry and I blame whatever woman would date one of these.
I’m finding it hard to convict this gender…
Fuck it, let’s be real; we all know where this is going. Women killed chivalry! Fine, some men are brutes and others would sell their mothers to get laid but we can’t let those dip shits determine the outcome of this investigation. Men do half this shit coz their initial attempt at being chivalry is scorned by women. So yes I’ll admit it, women killed chivalry. The Whereabouts of the body remain unknown. Just coz it’s mostly our fault doesn’t mean you should slack off. Do your part!!! Now let’s go lynch these bitches.
